You can hit pause
The Joy & Presence card is one of the cards in the deck that has an edgier story behind it, and it's the only one that has an animal in it.
Every day, I had to find something new to draw. So in a way, each drawing is an artifact of what was happening in life on a specific day in a continuum of 100 days. Some days, I would run into a flower that I knew I wanted to draw, some days I would work on an ongoing theme (like flowers my parents remembered as kids) and some days something would happen and I would react with a drawing - the joy and presence card falls in the last category.
I came home one day and opened the door to the garden and right next to the house I found a dead hummingbird. It was so beautiful and peaceful but it was terrifying to me to see it lying there. And I was home alone (my husband was away on a trip) and I really did not know what to do.
I sat next to it for awhile and decided to leave it overnight -- to sleep on it so I could really know what it was that I needed to do. As a side note, I later learned from a friend who had a similar experience, that hummingbirds can go into torpor, a deep sleep-like state, which can make them appear to be dead. The bird she found and thought was dead came back to life when hit with a gust of wind so I am glad I let it sit overnight before trying to bury it!
The next morning when I awoke, it’s like I knew exactly what to do. I went down to see if it was still there (and to convince myself it was not all a dream). It was in the exact place I found it the day before and still so peaceful and beautiful. I used gloves and paper towels and gently carried it to the garden. I had just started listening to Gabriel Fauré’s Requiem in d minor and decided to play it on my phone while I dug a hole by the roses and irises in the yard. I gently set the hummingbird in the earth, placed flowers from this garden where it lived next to it and said a blessing of gratitude and love to lay it to rest. This hummingbird was given the most gentle and loving burial.
Later that day, I made the joy and presence drawing. I think I paired the indian paintbrush with this bird because their wild, natural, fiery beauty seemed to match each other. And the words joy and presence came up because I could feel the joy of this bird and all of nature around us when I was forced to become aware of the transience of this life. And I still feel the hummingbird’s presence in my yard and in my life and it’s amazing to me that it’s spirit can live through these cards to spread its joy and capacity for presence to all who are willing to notice and let it in.
And there is an update to this story that is unfolding right now (more than 6 years later!). I had some friends over for the first time since the pandemic began and we were enjoying a sunny day in the garden when we noticed a gorgeous hummingbird hovering over our heads. It seemed a bit annoyed (they are known to be territorial) and we later noticed that it built a nest on a branch in the garden right by the house.
I think the hummingbird is nesting its eggs there because it sits on its nest almost all day. Every morning, I look out the window to make sure she made it through the night – which has been very windy lately. So with some luck and grace, we may be the hosts of baby hummingbirds in this magical garden and maybe I’ll find some way to tell them this story of their grandmother or grandfather hummingbird!
TAKE A DEEP DIVE INTO THE THEME
EPISODE 07 - SEASON 1
Our relationship to the unknown shapes how much fear or hope we hold. Unconditional love can release the strings which hold us back.
Join us as we uncover greater possibilities with surrender, not control.
EPISODE 03 - SEASON 2
We then talk with energetic therapist Kitty Folmer (MSc) who studied Clinical Psychology at the University of Amsterdam. She wanted an alternative to medications for the depression she had experienced in her youth. After graduating, Kitty immersed herself in healing and regression therapy in her search for truth and the meaning of existence.
EPISODE 62 - SEASON 3
As we journey through life, we often find ourselves confronting the paradox of ambition and rest. Let's walk together as we share our tales of self-discovery, pondering the effects of modernity, particularly within the fast-paced tech and startup culture. We'll also be shedding light on the joy of cross-cultural dancing, the power of presence and the beauty of transcending metaphors that no longer serve us.
For this episode, we released a new limited-edition digital art.
You can support our podcast and activity by collecting an NFT or by ordering a set of cards.
Joy & Presence is one of the 39 Gratitude Blooming themes that we explore to help our community keep gratitude front of mind.
Explore all themes
